


No one else here

by Beleriandings



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:50:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beleriandings/pseuds/Beleriandings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maeglin and Celebrimbor, alone in their bed, discuss their past loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No one else here

“Have you told anyone?”

Maeglin was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Celebrimbor turned onto his side, propping himself up onto an elbow to look down at him, a slight smile playing about his lips. “About what?”

“About this.” Maeglin made an expansive gesture, taking in all of Celebrimbor’s bedchamber where the two of them lay bare and sweat-slicked on the bed, the sheets and their rumpled clothes pooled on the floor where they had fallen in their earlier haste. “About us.”

“No” said Celebrimbor truthfully. He thought for a moment, stroking back a lock of hair that had fallen across Maeglin’s brow. “I think some people know though.”

“Who?”

“Some of the lords of the city. I think Rôg has guessed, but you know how he is. He knows everything that goes on in this city. Also, I saw Ecthelion giving me a strange sort of look the other day, and that odd, quiet scholar… what’s his name?”

“Pengolodh? I doubt it.” Maeglin almost laughed. “He doesn’t care about much that goes on outside of his histories.”

“Perhaps. Probably for the best.”

Maeglin smiled crookedly. “You’re embarrassed to be found in my bed?”

“Don’t be foolish. This sort of thing is frowned upon, but happens surprisingly often, from what I know of this city so far.” He bent forward and kissed the corner of Maeglin’s mouth softly. “Besides, this is  _my_  bed we’re in, in case you had forgotten.”

“Never.”

They lapsed into silence for a moment. “Does my uncle know?” said Maeglin at last.

“The king? I shouldn’t think so.”

Maeglin nodded to himself. Then he opened his mouth as though to speak, but for a while no sound came out. “What about…” he said at last. “No, never mind.”

Celebrimbor frowned, forboding fluttering in his stomach. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” Maeglin laced his fingers together uncomfortably.

_Her. He is thinking of her._  The thought twined about him uncomfortably, surprising him with the small stab of jealousy it provoked in him as he looked down at Maeglin. Celebrimbor had known all along how Maeglin felt about the city’s golden princess, had even accepted, on some level, that he himself would never be more than a distraction…

“I know what you’re thinking” said Maeglin flatly, sitting up so that their faces were level, very close. Maeglin’s eyes were so black that Celebrimbor could not see the line between the iris and the pupil, strange and beautiful, unreadable as black glass and utterly intoxicating to Celebrimbor. “You think that I meant Idril.” He said her name flatly, his voice as inexpressive as his eyes, his face still. Celebrimbor knew enough to know what it meant when Maeglin made his face betray nothing. It was something he too had schooled himself into being able to do.

“You do” he said, boldness seizing him suddenly.

Maeglin raised an eyebrow, drawing back a little. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a… yearning for someone who didn’t return your feelings. I’ve seen inside your head; I know how you felt about fair Finrod Felegund - ”

“Stop it.” Celebrimbor felt suddenly dizzy; he wished he had not spoken. He wished things could go back to how they had been a mere few minutes before, when he and Maeglin had been in each other’s arms, their bodies moving together, kisses lavished on sweat-slicked skin.

“Stop” he said again, shaking his head a little to clear it. “Yes, we each have our pasts. Our past… attachments.” He swallowed. “But for the moment…” he did not know how to finish that sentence.  _This will end_ , he thought, suddenly miserable.  _Am I falling in love with him?_  He looked into Maeglin’s dark eyes and pushed the question resolutely aside.  _It will come to an end. Maybe not soon, but it will. Best to be prepared._  

Maeglin inclined his head, regarding Celebrimbor thoughtfully. Celebrimbor liked how he did that, always thinking before he spoke, his voice quiet and measured. Except when it was not.  _There were the times when Maeglin’s voice came as a low urgent moan as Celebrimbor ground against him, hands twined in Maeglin's silken dark hair, so different from…_

His thoughts were interrupted by Maeglin taking his face in his hands, pulling him back down so that they were lying face to face, on their sides in the centre of the bare bed. The wind was blowing in through the open window, cool for the time of year, and Celebrimbor shivered suddenly, convulsively, as it chilled his bare, cooling skin.

Maeglin saw the shiver and his solemn face twitched. He pulled Celebrimbor close to himself, arms encircling him tenderly, kissing his hair. “Why are we even talking about others” he said, although Celebrimbor was not quite certain he had not imagined the slight edge of artificiality there. “In this room, we have only each other. Only us.” He pulled back, holding Celebrimbor’s face in his hands again, looking into his eyes. “Is that not true?”

“It’s true” said Celebrimbor, helpless. Maeglin had been so wary at the beginning, so afraid of being hurt, always drawing back into his own head even as they explored each other’s bodies in breathless passion. Celebrimbor had thrown himself into getting Maeglin to open his heart and mind to him as well, but now, he realised, he was in danger of becoming hopelessly lost there.

“Good” said Maeglin, and kissed him deeply, pulling him into his arms; their bodies fit against each other perfectly. Celebrimbor felt Maeglin frowning into the kiss. He only held him closer, arousal uncoiling within him once more, sudden and consuming.

_If he only seeks distraction_ , thought Celebrimbor helplessly _, I will give it to him gladly. I do not ask him to love me. I do not need to be first in his heart. I just need him._  He pressed his face into Maeglin’s neck as Maeglin’s hands roamed over him, wrapping around him.  _Ah, but do I really believe that though?_ Celebrimbor banished the question from his mind, biting down on Maeglin’s shoulder where it joined his pale, elegant neck, inhaling the smell of his skin, his hair.  _Only the two of us,_ he told himself.  _Only the two of us in this world, forever._ And in that moment, as Maeglin held him in his arms and pushed inside him once more, he almost believed it to be the truth.

 


End file.
